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      <span class="title" itemprop="headline">惱人的迎娶</span>
      <p class="time article" itemprop="datePublished" datetime="2012-11-16T12:39:48+08:00">November 16, 2012｜<span>瀏覽人數  6,768 次</span></p>
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        <p><div><img src="https://s3-ap-northeast-1.amazonaws.com/showoncc/uploads/photo/asset/1306/3124165_a299p9k_l.jpg"></div><br>隨著婚禮的步步逼近，這兩天我收到了一張落落長的單子
<br />上面寫著的是我的婚禮進行rundown
<br />仔細一看窩的馬呀程序也太繁雜了吧（崩潰）。</p>

<p>先說一下這婚禮進行清單是怎麼來的
<br />是說跟大家一樣，我們兩家的長輩也有個見面會就是俗稱的提親日
<br />不同的是我的提親日哇奔郎並不在家，沒辦法那天跟我簽書會撞到期啊
<br />只聽說那天的情形大概是這樣的，就是男方爸爸問我爸有什麼習俗要遵循嗎
<br />我爸說不用了啦孩子的事他們自己開心就好，大人們就別插手了
<br />聽到這我想說太棒了啊（抱著我爸轉三圈），複雜的事最討厭了
<br />既然長輩都說不用了那我們不是省事兒了嗎呀逼
<br />結果事情不是這樣的，是男方爸爸說哇他們不管了呀逼，那我就自己決定好所有事吧（此為設計對白）
<br />於是我就收到了那份婚禮流程圖（眼神死）。</p>

<p>那天是中午宴客，啊嗯勾老子八點半就要被迎娶走
<br />是說現在還流行迎娶動作嗎，明明我朋友們都沒做啊夭壽
<br />而且八點半出門意味著我六點半之前就要起床妝髮，這不是在整人嗎
<br />不過聽說有人是看時辰的，清晨兩三點起床被迎娶也是常有的事，所以我好像不方便說什麼
<br />還有準備禮品6項什麼冰糖鳳梨冬瓜之類的，有項是米苔一斤不知道嘿洗瞎毀
<br />是米苔目少寫目嗎
<br />繼續往下看有個新娘拜別父母，後面還刮號寫＂（養育之恩）＂不知是什麼意思
<br />未來公公控制欲也太強惹，啊我沒很想做這件事啊（是的我是不孝的女兒（挖鼻孔））
<br />接下來還有什麼朋友放炮孩童端橘子的禮俗
<br />最引起我注意的是新娘要跨過火爐，是說禮服都很大很長料子還易燃
<br />這樣去跨火堆衣服會燒起來吧公公想我死嗎
<br />然後專業人士告訴我所以我裙子會被提到很高很高，新娘在這一關露出屁股是常有的事叫我不用怕
<br />可屁股是我死穴啊如果要露屁那不如把我燒了吧
<br />對了那天一定會拍照吧，如果跨過火爐的照片出來
<br />旁邊會不會被下標寫上＂煙燻鮑魚＂呢（誰會亂幫別人照片下標呢）（不就是我自己），真是羞死人了啊</p>

<p>後記：
<br />所以要走傳統習慣的新娘子們
<br />千萬千萬記得裡面別穿半筒絲襪也別穿束褲免得被看到
<br />看到事小婚攝還會拍下來，倒楣一點的會被伴娘陰一把，拍照傳上FB還tag妳不可不慎
<br />後來我發現過火堆的取消了，因為要不要過火好像是搭生肖什麼的
<br />我屬龍工程師屬馬，他爹說龍會壓馬所以前一天要請一個屬龍的陪他睡
<br />我問他是要請傳播妹或鋼管女郎嗎不然要去哪找人陪睡
<br />可能是無心的提問導致工程師覺得他爸其實是要幫他辦單身派對開心了一下
<br />男人啊．．．．（煙）</p>

<p>對了關係被tag，我有次看到有個新娘頭髮亂了笑出牙肉還被tag
<br />我覺得那個人一定不是她的好朋友吧，不然怎麼會po一張這麼醜的照片上傳還說恭禧她結婚
<br />建議所有新娘結婚後要去看看fb上別人貼的自己的照片
<br />就會知道誰是知心好友誰是放冷箭的人啊～</p>
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