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      <span class="title" itemprop="headline">找房子的垃圾話</span>
      <p class="time article" itemprop="datePublished" datetime="2008-04-08T23:20:50+08:00">April 8, 2008｜<span>瀏覽人數  4,642 次</span></p>
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        <p><div><img src="frontend/cover/default.png" width="375" height="192" alt="垃圾.jpg" hspace="5" align="left"></div>金門來的屎奴比最近在找房子，身為看房達人的我，怎麼能不給朋友一些好意見
<br />於是產生了一堆垃圾話，摘錄如下：</p>

<p>橋段一：
<br />小紅：妳最近如何啊
<br />小紅：房子的事
<br />屎奴比：最今公司事很多，先偷懶一下
<br />屎奴比：真的很難找
<br />屎奴比：我同事建議我找那種女生徵室友的
<br />小紅：我討厭跟陌生人住
<br />小紅：萬一她是邪教的怎麼辦
<br />屎奴比：可是省錢沒辦法ㄝ
<br />屎奴比：哈哈哈
<br />屎奴比：對吼
<br />小紅：妳真的很不會想
<br />小紅：為了省錢
<br />屎奴比：他會放玻璃碎片在我的芭蕾舞鞋裡吧
<br />小紅：還會把妳梳子的毛換成尖的，讓妳每天頭皮滲血
<br />屎奴比：挖咧靠
<br />屎奴比：好驚悚喔
<br />小紅：邪教的人會做什麼說沒個準，妳還是不要，我不能承受再少朋友惹
<br />屎奴比：化妝水裡加鹽酸
<br />屎奴比：我房裡整天傳出尖叫
<br />小紅：衛生紙上還抺蛔蟲
<br />屎奴比：（這個格調好低喔）
<br />小紅：（因為一時想不起能對衛生紙做什麼）
<br />小紅：我重想
<br />屎奴比：衛生紙啊
<br />屎奴比：很難搞鬼
<br />小紅：可以的
<br />小紅：只要有心
<br />屎奴比：把衛生紙換成ａ4紙如何？？
<br />小紅：太好認
<br />小紅：那不如換成砂紙好了，肛門每天頭破血流
<br />屎奴比：還把我的炒鍋換成鐵氟龍的
<br />小紅：（會怎樣）
<br />小紅：啊，中毒是吧
<br />屎奴比：會中毒
<br />屎奴比：（不好笑）
<br />屎奴比：像藝術片橋段
<br />小紅：（可我在接了耶）
<br />小紅：讓我接下去
<br />小紅：不然我會暴斃的，妳不想我死吧
<br />屎奴比：對
<br />小紅：在妳的菠菜湯裡偷丟豆腐
<br />小紅：讓你腎結石
<br />屎奴比：靠</p>

<p>橋段二：
<br />屎奴比：我倒是想看忠孝新生的一間
<br />小紅：那聽起來很貴
<br />屎奴比：6500ㄝ
<br />屎奴比：套房喔
<br />小紅：這麼便宜，應該有鬼之類的
<br />屎奴比：哈哈哈
<br />屎奴比：八坪
<br />屎奴比：文字看起來很優
<br />屎奴比：還包水電喔
<br />小紅：有提到有沒有鬼嗎
<br />小紅：前房客都離奇的暴斃什麼的
<br />屎奴比：沒有特別強調
<br />小紅：下面小字也沒寫嗎
<br />屎奴比：我看有沒有</p>

<p>看完後發現本人真是悲觀主義者啊．．．
<br />什麼事都往壞處想
<br />還有
<br />好端端的垃圾話怎麼這麼多呢（抓頭）</p>

<p>（應該是屎奴比害的！！）</p>
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