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  <title>溫蒂姊婚禮記實 | 宅女日記</title>
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      <span class="title" itemprop="headline">溫蒂姊婚禮記實</span>
      <p class="time article" itemprop="datePublished" datetime="2010-03-22T12:42:27+08:00">March 22, 2010｜<span>瀏覽人數  4,644 次</span></p>
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        <p><div><img src="frontend/cover/default.png" alt="丟.jpg" hspace="5" align="left"></div><br clear="all">（這是自由文）三月十三是二姊溫蒂結婚的日子，因為男女雙方都在大陸工作，所以婚宴設在匪區
<br />親朋友好友們得飛飛飛去喝喜酒，感覺是布萊德彼特和安潔莉娜裘莉才有的巨星陣仗柳。
<br />地方是在深圳的工業區，飯店還挺稱頭的，應該是四星級的好奢華
<br />不過溫蒂姊恐嚇我們這帶相當的危險
<br />叫我們萬萬不可步出飯店不然登時就被殺
<br />除了有被殺的危險
<br />私以為這還有另一個隱憂就素新娘妝髮的問題
<br />總覺得隱身在深圳工業區內的化妝師技巧應該很恐怖吧
<br />事實上擔任伴娘的哇奔郎，就被畫了一個讓我看破紅塵的妝
<br />看本人像紅頂藝人表演用濃妝，看照片像被過度修圖的臉而且還是用小畫家修哦
<br />反正一整個不對勁兒就是
<br />好佳在溫蒂被畫得很漂亮
<br />不然婚禮進行間看到有人在拍照，新娘應該會想穿著蓬群飛撲過去搶相機把它摔爛吧。
<br />慘劇不只花生在我臉上，老木的頭髮也遇到了一些挫折
<br />難得嫁掉一個女兒，老人家一定會想要去做個頭髮的啊
<br />當天早上家母甘冒一出門就被殺的危險，硬是上街去洗了個頭
<br />結果我們在新娘房相見時，我一看到她就縮：媽妳的頭髮怎麼了？
<br />老木心情很不好，只好去看看新娘想用嫁女兒的感傷沖淡她頭髮做壞的感傷
<br />結果溫蒂一看到她也忍不住問：媽妳的頭髮怎麼了？
<br />之後只要有朋友進新娘房寒暄，要介紹親友的時候，我們都會縮：頭髮做壞的那個是我媽 
<br />其實我本來有試圖拍下那顆很有警世意味的醜頭給版友們看一下
<br />啊嗯勾老木一直躲後來還發火，我只好放棄惹
<br />笑完後我們一致認為這是一個大問題
<br />要是典禮前沒法得到解決
<br />可能不排除去開個房間把家母反鎖在裡面
<br />然後趕快去街上問問有沒有出租丈母娘的服務，這錢不能省不能省啊！</p>

<p>除了我們這些被大陸人搞得怪怪的人外
<br />新郎和新娘的姊接都是從米國回來的洋妞兒
<br />看到帖子上有正式服裝字樣，所以都準備了禮服觀禮
<br />可咱們龍的傳人哪裡會在乎這個啊
<br />家裡有正式禮服的人應該坐不滿一台福斯T4吧。
<br />結果就是兩位洋妞的衣服很閃，一個是超正式深V禮服←新郎姊
<br />一個是布料少到伸手即露該冰的小短禮服←我家胎胎
<br />大家都在注意這兩個異類
<br />於是會場傳頌著：<b>穿很露的是新郎的姊、穿很少的是新娘的姊</b>這個順口溜
<br />婚禮司儀還問了我姊：您身上這是髮國的時裝嗎？（法國他唸髮國＆那是胎胎在通化街購入的小洋裝）
<br />說到司儀
<br />敝人從沒見過這麼怕冷場的傢伙
<br />新郎新娘在進場或在倒香檳塔時，他都不能忍受這一點點的空窗期
<br />會在旁邊不停唸說這是最帥的新郎／最溫柔美麗的新娘／最偉大的爸吧媽馬
<br />後來甚至還悽厲的大喊：這一切要感謝我們偉大的祖國）））））））（拖長音）</p>

<p>之前有網友問我大陸喜宴跟台灣喜宴有何不同
<br />除了菜色多油多鹽多味精外
<br />就是他們上菜有夠快，好像傑森拿著電鋸在後面追他似的
<br />我們台灣上菜很慢（或是我吃東西快），通常喝喜酒時我都一手撐著下巴在等上菜
<br />在大陸根本沒有喘息的機會，快到我姊去罵人，他們放慢腳步後還是很快
<br />敬完酒菜就上完了，等換完送客服我去看，連水果盤都被吃掉了一半
<br />送客送了很久，因為送客服太美大家要一直拍照玩樂
<br />好不容易送完我抽空休息了一下，想縮一定很晚了，因為在台灣吃完喜酒差不多也要九點半，而且還沒等到送客完哦
<br />這次我等到尾聲應該十一點了吧
<br />我摳奧給朋友想跟他訴說當伴娘忙了一晚上的心路歷程
<br />他說可是現在才八點半耶
<br />胎胎說在大陸結婚硬體設備100分但其它有點頭痛
<br />光說婚禮鋼琴手不會彈結婚進行曲這件事就讓人很無力
<br />但場地真的好棒，先在草地結一下又在禮堂結一下
<br />整個很豪華隆重又溫馨啊
<br />寫到這我又遇到寫作路上的瓶頸，就是不會收尾這件事
<br />最後就祝姊夫建宏和阿寄溫蒂百年好合鶼鰈情深溜～</p>

<p>又（我又回來惹）
<br />鶼字唸“兼”（竟然不是唸“竊”！！）是比翼鳥的意思
<br />而鰈是比目魚，這兩種動物都深愛著自己的伴侶，所以變成了祝福別人婚姻恩愛的詞
<br />今天的每日一詞介紹到這，宅女日記咱們有緣再相見～（揮手下降）</p>

<p>最後附上照片，主題是我家三姊妹的胳肢窩：
<br /><div><img src="frontend/cover/default.png" alt="瑛.jpg" hspace="5" align="left"></div><br clear="all">胎胎在幫新娘的腋下打粉，免得舉手時貽笑大方←本篇成語好多呀</p>

<p><div><img src="frontend/cover/default.png" alt="腋臭.jpg" hspace="5" align="left"></div><br clear="all">我展開腋下與98元告別腋臭合影
<br />而且我現在才發現下面在賣前列丹，好想知道那是顆什麼樣的丹啊啊啊～～～</p>
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