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      <span class="title" itemprop="headline">好媳婦兒過年記</span>
      <p class="time article" itemprop="datePublished" datetime="2013-02-22T12:30:58+08:00">February 22, 2013｜<span>瀏覽人數  3,524 次</span></p>
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        <p><div><img src="https://s3-ap-northeast-1.amazonaws.com/showoncc/uploads/photo/asset/1474/3403233_c6rc5v3_l.jpg"></div><br>大家應該知道今年過年對我有特殊的意義
<br />這是老子成為人妻後的第一個年，雖然往年在自己家過也沒多溫馨，但事前只要想到要去別人家過年就想藉酒澆愁啊（一飲而盡）
<br />現在年過完惹我發現那些不安只是想像，實際上的婆家生活其實也不算太糟。</p>

<p>我們是除夕那天開車回高雄的，在下是台北人往年只有看新聞欣賞返鄉車潮的份兒，今年塞在其中想到女人婚一結連家鄉也變惹實在心酸<font size="0.1">&amp;<a target="_blank" href="http://tw.news.yahoo.com/%E4%BA%8E%E7%BE%8E%E4%BA%BA%E8%A2%AB%E8%AD%99%E4%B8%8D%E5%AD%9D-%E4%BB%8D%E4%B8%8D%E9%A1%98%E8%88%87%E5%85%AC%E5%A9%86%E5%BE%80%E4%BE%86-040538755.html">于美人</a>
<br />萬歲萬歲萬萬歲</font>
<br />為了避開高乘載我們那天清晨快六點就吃發，在新竹那小塞一陣後來就還算順暢
<br />到家後發現婆婆正在準備拜拜的菜，此時＂醉郎ㄟ新ㄅㄨ愛災抖力＂的歌聲在我耳畔響起（誰在唱！）
<br />身為媳婦兒不能蹉跎要立馬進去幫忙才行
<br />是說廚房是女主人的天下我一個外人在旁邊也幫不上什麼大忙
<br />可是阿母有交待去人家家要當好媳婦有事要搶著做才是正途
<br />於是就混在旁邊以不擋路為前題拿拿碗擺擺盤，幸好他家廚房大不然要閃來閃去吧
<br />但幫了什麼忙不是重點重點是要跟婆婆聊天融入家庭安捏
<br />做完飯端去拜拜，約莫到四點婆婆叫大家吃飯了
<br />四點這是吃哪一餐我不明白但醉郎ㄟ新ㄅㄨ有什麼好問的呢婆婆叫我吃我就吃！
<br />吃完要默默的站在遠方以彷若在做自己的事的姿態觀察大家吃完沒
<br />最後一個一放下筷子我就趕快去收碗洗碗
<br />其實我一度有幻想過會不會有人來阻止叫我不要做，可惜這種好事並未發生啊（嘆息）。</p>

<p>四點吃完了晚飯那今天就結束了嗎，不是這樣的
<br />約莫九點半婆婆又叫大家去吃飯不知是吃哪一餐
<br />而且是同樣的菜熱了再吃一頓這樣
<br />我沒啥胃口只能假吃一下，然後默默的再在遠方監看大家一吃完再立刻去收碗洗碗沒辦法這是媳婦的天命
<br />看我一個人在廚房洗洗擦擦工程師竟然說別洗了我來吧
<br />我心想你他媽的平常在家用了一雙筷子也不會順手洗了只會丟在流理台讓我善後
<br />這樣的男子回媽媽家了竟然要搶著幫我洗碗是怎樣，這一洗你媽肯定認為平常在台北悍妻都這樣使喚老公的但明明不是啊
<br />文末呼籲天下老公愛做事的話在自己家做吧千萬別回到媽媽家還裝勤勞
<br />這樣做不是貼心是在陰自己的太太啊知不知道！（戳工程師太陽穴）</p>

<p>後記：
<br />因為事前一直被友人恫嚇，說新媳婦去婆家過年一定會偷哭
<br />所以我一直在等待那淚水止不住的摸們
<br />沒想到鐵漢如我不但結婚拜別父母沒有哭去婆家過年也沒哭
<br />只有一度我有點鼻酸感
<br />是說他家是個慢吞吞family做什麼都很慢
<br />這點之前我就有感覺了
<br />因為我家人都急驚風，就是說要出門就像龍捲風一般捲出門這樣
<br />婚前兩家有聚餐過，結完帳我們家人就立刻在紅磚道集合了可他們家人約莫十分鐘後才陸續走出店之間不知在忙什麼
<br />之前有次去他家，他爸約莫在六點時說我們一定要趕快出門不然怎樣又怎樣
<br />這樣的急法最後是快七點才出門搞得我好焦慮
<br />這次是出門前公公一聲令下說大家準備要下樓囉，是說出發就出發幹嘛把事情切成幾段進行，那待會會不會說大家要準備穿鞋囉
<br />聽到這個指示我就很焦慮了可工程師還趴在床上懶洋洋的說還早啦
<br />我東摸西摸了一下後突然感覺便意如潮水將我吞沒，想到公公說要下樓了但又想到慢吞吞family應該不會那麼精實吧
<br />拉屎皇帝大百善棒塞為先（不是這樣吧）還是先大一下好惹
<br />我摸完又大完便後坐在客廳裡等大家下來等了差不多半小時大家才陸續走下來
<br />那刻我真的好想哭呀，不是趕著要出門嗎都騙人啦～～～</p>

<p>主圖是有天我發現工程師把東西都放在垃圾筒蓋上
<br />因為這樣導致蓋子打不開後索性把垃圾也放在垃圾筒蓋上
<br />這樣的男子在他媽媽家竟然要搶著幫我洗碗
<br />電視機前的太太們妳們能接受嗎！（撕爛菜瓜布）</p>
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