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      <span class="title" itemprop="headline">關於打牌　我說的其實是．．．</span>
      <p class="time article" itemprop="datePublished" datetime="2011-02-11T12:50:52+08:00">February 11, 2011｜<span>瀏覽人數  2,754 次</span></p>
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        <p><iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7a_ayJ4PT6Q" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>因為溫蒂嫁人了，今年過年溫刀呈現三缺一的窘況
<br />是史上最寒冷的春節想到都鼻酸
<br />年初三時三個朋友出來吃飯，飯後想縮這不是江湖人稱的三缺一嗎
<br />再找一咖就有一桌了這時不是該努力一下嗎（畢竟我平常都一缺三，實在沒什麼好努力的）
<br />於是打給吾友老頭約打牌
<br />沒想到被他拒絕了，求歡被拒真是世界上最沒尊嚴的事
<br />這個春節我體會到朋友真的該多交一些友情人人都需要友情。</p>

<p>初四下午在家閒得發慌江姊來發通告
<br />休糾晚上來去老頭家怕白，如果我在酒吧就會起立敲鐘請全店喝酒吧
<br />終於有人約了啊～～（轉圈）
<br />因為對手很強，有老頭他爸老頭他哥老頭他姊
<br />老頭都已經老成醬了（據說虛歲四十有七）那他哥和他姊肯定不是泛泛之輩
<br />在我來看已經是賭博神人的老頭聽縮前幾天慘輸他們八千多元
<br />所以我決定打100/20的，並在上牌桌前先翻了一下皮包確認
<br />沒有個萬兒八千或一張瑞士銀行的本票，實在不敢跟這些老千同桌
<br />先說鄙人牌技很差打牌超慢，是一年只打一次的人
<br />而且都跟家人打，很少有遇到外人的機會（雖然我娘說跟我打會辱沒了她）
<br />那天真是剉得不得鳥
<br />第一圈我沒上場，光站在旁邊就覺得很有殺氣
<br />老頭他姊丟牌超快，是佛山無影腳的牌桌版我都看不見她丟什麼
<br />然後他哥打花牌，完全不照順序擺到底是為了什麼哇馬嗯栽
<br />據說是因為如果排得太整齊，敵人會根據你抓牌出來丟的方位判斷你在聽哪張牌
<br />這真是我無法理解的世界
<br />我可是會因為組合成功又怕不小心丟錯，會把牌三個三個隔開來放的人
<br />輪到我上場時旁邊的人看不過眼，叫我把牌排緊
<br />於是發生了吃九萬丟六萬情事慘被眾人醮
<br />當下我不懂為什麼吃九萬丟六萬要被算成相公
<br />相公明明是牌數有多或少不是嗎
<br />我明明沒有啊（左手背拍右手心）
<br />還有我實在沒有能力去管別人丟出什麼牌，而且我以為大家都是醬
<br />但其實不然
<br />其它三個人一直在注意我丟什麼，甚至ㄟ盪精準的說出我上輪及上上輪及上上上輪打出了什麼
<br />他們是不是有毛病
<br />下次再有人說現代人都自掃門前雪我絕對不同意
<br />請他們來牌桌旁看看吧，大家明明超關心別人的啊
<br />老頭他哥甚至每次都能猜到我在聽什麼好神
<br />該不會我一走他就拆下賭神那種隱形眼鏡吧</p>

<p>不知道大家心臟為什麼都這麼強
<br />我胃弱，沒有辦法承受同時聽三個以上這種事
<br />像我媽就會說聽八個洞什麼的真的嚇死人
<br />不過我覺得打牌其實是靠運氣不是牌技
<br />因為強敵環伺鄙人竟然最後還小贏320
<br />聽說事後老頭他哥對輸我這種人很看不開
<br />我想會打的人最怕遇到像我這種打的沒有道理的人吧
<br />就像食神裡說的：我真的猜不透你啊啊啊～～～</p>

<p>後記：
<br />為什麼吃九萬摸六萬會被算相公之謎人妻寶幫我解開了
<br />他縮因為這是件毫無意義的事
<br />所以大家會覺得我是不想摸牌
<br />不想摸的原因是我可能看到那張是個大字或爛牌故意要下家摸
<br />於是合理的懷疑我有作弊這樣
<br />大家也想太多了，其實真的是看錯啊～～～
<br />如果手上有七八萬，看到上家丟九萬擔藍會有大叫“吃”的衝動啊
<br />而且丟六萬其實比較險耶，六萬跟九萬比怎麼說六萬都比較好不是嗎～～～～
<br />還有那局最後我單釣紅中竟然讓我胡了嘿嘿
<br />這份感動我把它放進歌裡就在開頭那個影片中（感謝網友蕭種瓜獻唱，沒影像是正常的那只有聲音，這是美聲版，<a target="_blank" href="http://joke2work.blogspot.com/">這裡</a>還有另一個激昂版的，不知誰唱的就是）
<br />我覺得我好強哦，但昨天人妻寶說我胡紅中很壞
<br />奇怪了他們一直在注意別人就不壞嗎！！！</p>

<p>又
<br />聽到抓幾剩幾總是讓我肅然起敬，這實在太難了
<br />所以術語方面我教大家一些入門的
<br />行走江湖時記得要用術語免得被欺負啊
<br />一筒＝大餅
<br />二筒＝奶罩
<br />七條＝總統府（要用台語宗通戶比較殺）
<br />八條＝麥當勞
<br />九條＝摟齁（下雨）或呷咪柳（吃麵）
<br />丟出好牌時要跟下家說有甜的←私以為這時在激怒人，聽了超美送
<br />剩下的我想不吃來了，請大家提供一下吧～～</p>

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